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Flashpoint: Chapter 1

Deviation Actions

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Due to his specialized knowledge of explosives, Investigator Elwood Grant was called in to assess the Brenner Music Hall incident. As you may have heard, a pyrotechnic charge misfired, injuring many of those in attendance. It was determined that the charge had been deliberately tampered with. Due to the nature of this crime, Grant motioned that the case be turned over to THORN as a possible act of terrorism. The motion has been sustained. This is now an authorized THORN investigation.
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Initial Report – F. Spencer
Friday, June 3, 2011, Central Police Station

Clara Fife is the lead singer for the Bit Bites, a techno-pop band. I was in attendance at her concert, off duty. After performing her latest song, Clara jumped off stage to engage in a round of crowd surfing. This is a regular event at her concerts and the crowd usually responds in a positive manor.
At 9:15 the spark emitter attached to the forestage went off. I could tell right away that something had gone wrong. Instead of sending them up in the usual fan pattern, it was shooting out over the crowed! Many of those nearby were set on fire.
At the same time, Clara started crying for help. She was off to the left, well away from the flames. On closer inspection, her belt and the seat of her pants had been cut open, leaving a long, thin wound from her tail up to the small of her back: 6 inches.
I was horrified! I'm a big fan of hers and I couldn't believe anyone would hurt her that way. Tears were running down her face, but I managed to lead her back stage. Security locked down the building and I called it in. An ambulance arrived shortly and I followed in my car to the hospital.
I'm a bit shaken up, just now. Forgive my lack of formality. I've collected Clara's clothing as evidence and will be submitting them along with this report. She's in no condition to talk, so someone will have to interview her later on. If there is anything I can do to further the investigation, do let me know.
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Crime Scene Report – M. Long
Friday, June 3, 2011, Central Police Station

Sergeant Spencer turned control over to me upon my arrival.
All doors had been sealed in little under two minutes. Every person in attendance was thoroughly searched before being allowed to leave and a list was compiled of names and phone numbers. No weapon was recovered. All parties showed great concern and shock. No individuals stood out as suspicious.
The search of the concert hall turned up a generic box cutter in the third stall of the ground floor men's room. I have submitted it for forensic analyses.
Clara was taken by ambulance to St. David's Hospital where she is in stable condition. Her clothing has been turned over to police as evidence.
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Arson Report – E. Grant
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station

After examining the faulty equipment, I've determined the cause of the problem. A piece of fabric, rolled up in a ball, was stuck down the projection tube. Another was set right atop the nozzle. They were charred up, real bad, but I went ahead and submitted them anyway.
Since someone or other may have put it there deliberately, I insisted the case be turned over to THORN. I can't say, but I wager this here could have hurt a lot more then it did. It's strange, though, what with this being an indoor concert. The types of pyrotechnics that get used inside are different from those you see on the Fourth of July. They burn at a much lower temperature and usually don't make as much smoke. If someone had intended for this to do some serious damage, they were way off.
That's not to say that you should go stick your head down the cannon. These are very serious explosive devices. The bit of cloth was shoved in just such a way as to tip the nozzle outward. Having to blow the other bit out of the way defused most of the projectiles' momentum, sending them into the crowed instead of clear out of the way.
I've made arrangements to talk with the stage crew manager. I'll be looking into just who was responsible for setting this rig and who had access to it before and after the incident.
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Medical Report – Dr. Manteno
Saturday, June 4, 2011, St. David's Hospital

Last night, I personally attended to seven individuals who reported being lit on fire during the Bit Bite concert. Apparently, one of the band's pyrotechnics misfired, sending a shower of sparks over the audience. Though most of their wounds were cosmetic, scorched fur and mild burns, I have been asked to make a statement in regard to the severity of this incident.
There were nine patients seen last night, in total. No one was seriously hurt and many commented that they were being seen at the request of the BPD rather then of their own accord. It's all the same to me. Checking out simple cases fills up my quota without me even breaking a sweat. See if you can send more my way, detectives.
Also, at the time, the lead singer, Clara Fife, was engaging in her routine round of "crowd surfing". I believe that's what they call it. The celebrity jumps off the stage and is passed around in the hands of the audience or just carried around by a few lucky fans. Fortunately, Ms. Fife was not in the vicinity of the fire. Even so, she was seen last night as well. I specialize in burns, and my hands were full as it was. I'm sure her attending physician can fill in the details of her encounter.
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Medical Report – Dr. Grove
Saturday, June 4, 2011, St. David's Hospital

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending to a Ms. Clara Fife. Clara is a young gray wolf in her early twenties. She was alert and coherent throughout the examination. Her chief complaint involved a rather shallow laceration on her posterior. The wound starts just to the left of her tail and goes up five inches to the small of her back.
Apparently, Ms. Fife had been wearing a rather strong web belt and canvas cargo pants. These materials are hard to cut and are responsible for protecting her, even partially, from her attacker. She's very lucky. The blade passed through her fur, leaving a bit of a divot of shorn off hair, but her flesh is relatively intact. She required only a few stitches and should be free to go home later today. I only wish I didn't have to shave the area. It'll take longer for the fur to grow back then for the wound to heal…
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Technical Services Report – I. Forester
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station

The following items were submitted by Sergeant Spencer:
1 belt, black leather w/ green studwork, cut in half
1 pair cargo pants, charcoal gray w/ 5" slash just left of tail hole
1 tank top shirt, black with neon green paw print design
1 button down shirt, forest green w/ blood stained rear hem
1 bra, neon green bikini top
1 pair panties, neon green bikini bottom

I haven't run any official tests yet, but I'd like to say right off that these are not the bra and panties Ms. Fife was wearing last night! There's not a single drop of blood on the panties and the only loose bits of fur appear to be light tan. Ms. Fife has gray fur, right? There was enough blood to stain her pants and even get on her outer shirt, and you expect me to believe that not one drop got on her panties? Give me a break!
Also, her socks and shoes are missing…

The following item was submitted by Detective Long:
1 box cutter, blue w/ auto retractor

This is the type of knife they issue to hardware store employees. They're only available through a supplier and aren't sold in the stores themselves. Even so, if the employee had set it down for even a moment, anyone could have picked it up.
No DNA could be lifted from this item. That comes as no surprise. After all, it was in a toilet. Also, no prints could be lifted from its checker grip handle or from the blade extender. On closer inspection, however, a partial print was lifted from the stack of extra blades in the knife's handle. It's pretty small, probably some breed of cat.
The fact that we got any prints at all indicates that the knife wasn't in the toilet for very long. At the same time, there isn't any blood on the blade. I can't say, at this time, whether or not this item was involved in our case.

The following item was submitted by Investigator Grant:
2 fabric scraps, white cotton w/ burns
1 stage mounted spark emitter w/ bracket

This is very soft material… All I can tell you right now is that both scraps are made of the same cloth and both are burned beyond ready recognition.
I don't know much about this sort of equipment, but I ran the basics. There are half a dozen partial prints, both inside and outside the tube. The wiring looks to be in good order. It's clean cut and screwed properly in place. Nothing out of the ordinary.
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Interview – J. Boreas
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station
Trevor "Woofer" Greenback, Bit Bites' Drummer

Mr. Greenback, thank you for meeting with me so quickly. In your own words, I want you to tell me just what happened last night.

"Well, everything was going fine until Clara jumped off stage. She turned around and jumped into the crowd, just like always. They caught her, fair enough, and started carrying her all around, just like always. Clara loves it! She says it's like a giant hug, all warm and loving. I can't believe someone would hurt her like this!"

Did you actually see someone hurt her?

"Like, no way, man! Do you think I'd let them get away with it? I'd of told the cops right on the spot!"

Did you see anything out of the ordinary, anything I might be able to use? Was anyone acting suspicious or tinkering with the equipment?

"Well, there were these two foxes. Yeah, I've seen them before, though. See, like, sometimes when Clara is going around, the fans get a little frisky with her, you know? They'll slide off her bracelets, maybe her hair band, stuff like that. Stuff they can keep as, like, a souvenir. Clara doesn't mind, though. She said she didn't care, so long as no one touched her, like, that way, you know?"

You mean… sexually?

"Yeah! Like, if anyone tries to reach up her shirt or pull down her pants, she'll totally wig out on them. Oh, that reminds me, bro! I saw this one guy, a retriever, I think. He tried to unbuckle Clara's belt, but she slapped his hand away."

What happened to him after that?

"I don't really know; I wasn't watching him that close. I just noticed him getting pushed to the back of the crowd and then went back to keeping an eye on Clara."

Do you always keep watch over her?

"Yeah! Like, dude, wouldn't you? I love her, man! She's a real sweetie! Besides, if anything happens to her, I'm out of a job, man… Like, let's be real; she keeps the food on the table and the gigs on the line. I don't know what me and the boys would do without her."

You said something about two foxes?

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot where I was going with this. So, like I said, Clara lets fans have the bits and bobs off her outfits. Just so long as no one tries to touch her lady parts; she's cool. Well, I've seen people walk away with her over shirts, her bracelets, her hair ties and what have you, but this was the first time I ever saw something like this!
"While Clara's legs were up in the air, about on level with everyone's shoulders, the pair managed to get her boots untied. They tugged them off, one each, and then stuck their snouts down inside. I guess some people like that sort of thing. They set the boots down on the stage, like, literally right in front of Mark. When Clara passed back around, they helped themselves to her socks, too! I couldn't believe she didn't mind it, but if she hadn't gotten stabbed, she probably would have finished the night barefoot."

Did the two take the socks? You said they had left her boots on the stage.

"I don't know. I took her boots back stage after the show, I don't remember if her socks we stuffed inside or not. Is it really important?"

No, I suppose not. So, Clara jumped off stage and was doing just fine until the Retriever messed with her belt. He got pushed to the back and you lost track of him. Then the foxes started messing with her feet. So, when did the sparks go off?

"It wasn't too long after that. The sparks went off and the crowed went down like dominos! Everyone was falling all over each other, trying to get away. We stopped playing on the spot. That 'show must go on' stuff is bull! If something happens like that, like, if people get hurt right in front of you, you have to be stone cold to keep on going. You know?
"Things got really crazy after that. People were running all over the place. Clara was calling for help, but I couldn't get close to her; the crowed was too tight. Later on, Detective Long told me and the guys what happened. I wish I could give you more to work with."

I'll see what the others have to say. Thank you, you've been a big help.
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Interview – J. Boreas
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station
Mark "Tweeter" Blackburn, Bit Bites' Keyboarder

Mr. Blackburn, thank you for meeting with me, today. In your own words, I want you to tell me just what happened last night.

"Clara was wearing a pair of charcoal cargo pants, a black tank top with a big neon green paw print on the front, an open green button down shirt and her lucky web belt. Sorry, I'm a very detailed oriented person."

That's just fine, the more details you can give me the better.

"She jumped off the stage backwards and was caught by four of our fans. Two stood either side of her. After she landed, another guy, a coyote, stood between her legs, holding her by the knees. He didn't try anything funny, and Clara didn't seem to mind, so I figured it was OK.
"A Golden Retriever, about Clara's age, tried to unbuckle her belt, but she swatted his hand and gave him a dirt look. He looked disappointed, but Clara doesn't let her fans touch her that way. She says that being in the crowd is a warm loving experience, like all her fans are giving her a giant group hug. It must be such a drag when some pervert goes and runes it."

Did he try to open her pants? Did you actually see the way he touched her?

"Well, no, I guess he could have been just after her belt..."

What happened to him after that?

"He was pushed out to the edge of the crowd. I lost track of him. I was too busy keeping an eye on the two foxes at the foot of the stage."

Oh yes, Mr. Greenback had mentioned them. Please go on.

"The two looked like twins, about 23 or so. They wore matching outfits, black tees and combat boots with street-camo pants. Since that coyote had Clara's legs held at just the right angle, the two helped themselves to her boots. I watched them untie the neon green laces and tug the black leather from her stockinged paws.
"The two stuck their noses down inside the boots and inhaled deeply. They came out with big dopy smiles. As Clara came back around, they set the boots down on the edge of the stage right in front of me. Then they went over and drew off her socks. They were black with little green paw prints all over with matching toe and heel patches.
"Clara had painted her claws that same neon green and it really stood out on her black toes, especially in the black light. The foxes shoved the socks in their pockets and set about giving Clara a good laugh."

They tickled her paws?

"Yeah. I just kept right on playing, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen."

Yeah, that's pretty unique… Did you see anything else that may be important?

"No. A short time later, the spark fountain went off and the crowd sort of folded in on her. I guess they were trying to protect her or something. She was right in front of me at stage left and the fireworks were mounted on the forestage, so she was out of the way, anyway. Still, quite a few in the crowd got knocked over. Some were even lit on fire. They patted themselves out; no big deal. I hope everyone is all right.
"Next thing I knew, Clara was crying for help. The foxes had dropped her feet and were gathered with the rest of the crowd, trying to see what the matter was. As best I can tell, those two didn't have anything to do with her being hurt."

Thank you, Mr. Blackburn. This has been very helpful. You're free to go.
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Interview – J. Boreas
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station
John "Amp" Clarkson, Bit Bites' Electric Base

Mr. Clarkson, thank you for meeting with me, today. In your own words, I want you to tell me just what happened last night.

"Well, Clara jumped in and was being passed around, as usual. I don't pay her much attention. The other guys have a better view of her. The drums are up on a platform, center stage, so Trevor has a good vantage point. Mark's keyboards and stuff are rigged up on stage left, and he's right by the edge of the stage. I'm over on stage right and I've got my own little platform, but I can't see anything."

Why's that? You seem to have an unobstructed view.

"Well, yeah, I could see from there just fine if we weren't performing."

Come again?

"Look at me, detective. I'm wearing a normal tee shirt and jeans. I don't wear all that fancy tech stuff all the time. That stupid visor may make me look cool, but I can't see a thing with it on. I take my place before curtain call and make sure I have it on, but I can't even see well enough to walk across stage."

So you were on stage before anyone else? Was anyone acting suspicious or tinkering with the equipment? Did you see anything unusual?

"Not really. There was just the usual mix of stage hands and techs. You know, all that's set up by the music hall. It's a different crew at every location.
"After we got started, I saw the spot lights going round and round. I saw the fireworks going off and stuff. I can see blurry bursts of color, but, honestly, I started getting a headache from it, so I just kept my eyes shut."

What was Clara wearing last night?

"Well, like I said I couldn't see her. What's it matter anyway?"

Come on, you must have seen her back stage before the show started.

"Well, I remember she had on her green outfit. That's a tank top and cargo pants with a button down blouse left open overtop. The pants are charcoal gray or black; something dark. The shirt is a dark green, I think. She had on some bracelets and stuff, probably that lucky belt she always wears."

Can you describe it to me?

"The belt? Sure. She always has it on. It's black so it goes with every outfit."

Doesn't the green studwork kind of clash with other colors?

"What studwork? Clara's belt is just black web. The buckle's silver with our band logo on it. The boys and I got it for her after our first gig and she never takes it off. She's worn it to every concert we've ever played at."

Your bandmates tell me that Clara doesn't mind her fans taking off parts of her outfits to keep as souvenirs. That belt would be pretty valuable to a collector.

"Clara would never let someone just walk off with her belt! Like I said, it was a gift from all of us; it's special to her. The bracelets and hair clips are just dime store scrap."

What about her boots?

"What about them? She has a different pair for every outfit."

Thank you, Mr. Clarkson. You've been a big help. You're free to go.
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Surveillance Report – V. Valerian
Saturday, June 4, 2011, Central Police Station

I haven't received the surveillance data from the Bit Bites' concert. Elwood, please ask for a copy of the tapes when you go to interview the stage manager. I'm sure they'll give us more to work off of.
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Progress Report – B. Wolf
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thornhurst Manor, Office of Cap. Wolf

After reading the interviews with the three band members, I think we're on the right track. I don't think any of them were lying and they seem genuinely concerned about Clara's well being. From what they've said, I have a pretty good idea about what happened. Once the interview with Clara is completed, we'll know for sure just how things played out. In the mean time, there are a few things I want to go over.
First, I want to know just who that Retriever is. Both witnesses reported seeing a male Golden Retriever try to unbuckle her belt, but neither one was able to keep track of him after he was pushed to the back of the crowd. Get me a name.
Secondly, get me an ID on those fox brothers. I don't think they were responsible for what happened, but we know for sure that they were among those in closest proximity to Clara at the time. They might know something.
Lastly, have Sergeant Spencer and Detective Long report to my office as soon as possible, tomorrow. Mr. Blackburn and Mr. Clarkson both mentioned Clara wearing a web belt with a very unique buckle. So did Dr. Grove. Why, then, was a leather belt turned in with her clothes? Also, why have I yet to receive the statements taken by the officers on scene and why hasn't the surveillance data been submitted to Vincent?
There's a lot to answer for…
Additional Illustrations: [link]

In this, the first of many THORN case files, you can get a feel for how the team works together. Every member of the team has different responsibilities and specialties. Investigators Elwood Grant and Vincent Valerian inspect the crime scene and submit physical evidence to the crime lab. Detective Iris Forester oversees the handling of said evidence at Tech Services. Detectives Joseph Boreas and Sasha Wolf interview the witnesses and gather testimony. Captain Brandon Wolf reviews the information submitted by his team and decides how to proceed with the investigation.

It’s also important that you understand that the officers involved in these investigations are on special assignment. As such, while it appears that they are doing very little at any given time, they are actually quite occupied with other cases. These files only contain information that pertains to the case at hand and should not be used to gauge anyone’s actual workload.

THORN and All related items and characters © Brandon Kosinski
© 2011 - 2024 BlackthornPubl
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MWBlueWolf's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

This is a <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/r/w…" alt=":iconwriters--club:" title="Writers--club"/> critique.

This was an excellent first chapter to start off a new plot-line, or in this example, a case. The formatting was unique and especially interesting to read, a stark contrast to the style of story I normally read. The use of short separate sections in the form of case files made the story seem that much more immersive, and also that much more realistic.

Normally, when reading something as dull as a report you lose interest in a subject rather quickly, but each section was written in just a way that it always presented the reader with new and interesting information in each part, pulling them in to read more. But not only did the case files give structure to the story, they also added diversity. I particularly enjoyed the interviews, which revealed much of the background in a way that did not seem forced, not to mention the choice in vocabulary made the dialogue incredibly realistic and believable.

The way you presented the reader with new information was also at a perfect pace. I did not feel like I was being told what to think in any way, which gives me enough room to use my own mind to piece together the story, much like a puzzle. At the same time, I did not feel overwhelmed or starved with information.

The only possible complaint I could make with this story is that the setting is hardly described at all, but I can't honestly imagine a way to inform the reader in detail about the setting without upsetting the format you used so fluently.

Overall, this piece was a read. The format was one I am not used to, but one I can't help but be intrigued by, and one I cannot help but feel you have a firm grasp on. The delivery was incredibly believable, and the situation and conflict seemed so plausible that it could be non-fiction. I definitely plan on seeing what happens in the next installment.