Only Meow, Rosie!

The scene opened on the exterior of Eliot’s apartment building. He could be heard inside, leading someone around.
“Right this way! I’m glad you were able to find the place, alright.”
“Yes, Mr. Shag, but the pleasure is mine! I’m rather excited to be working alongside such an esteemed veteran of the animation world!”
“Haha! You make me sound like something special! I’m just a dog who has the joy of being able to do what he loves for a living.”
“Well, in today’s world, that is rather special!”
“I guess it is!”
The interior of Eliot’s apartment was furnished in a simple fashion so as to be comfortable and still function as his workspace. His desk and supplies took up the better part of the humble living space. The kitchen was behind him, to the right of the front door, along with the bath, while his bedroom sat off to the left.
“I know it’s not much, but it’s served me well.”
His guest looked around.
“Mr. Shag, I’m rather… surprised. I must say I rather expected as much from the outside, but someone of your caliber should…” he bit his tongue, realizing that any farther remark down that path would only insult his host. “That is to say, I imagined something more… contemporary.”
Eliot laughed modestly.
“The thing is, well, I like it here. The other dogs in the building were and still are the inspiration for my work. I don’t think I could have gone on for this long without them!”
His guest nodded, understanding.
“Well, I certainly understand the need to work around others. I’m afraid that I’m quite used to adapting to whatever need be done to complete my task. It’s just so hard being a…”
“Cat!” Bruno burst through the door! “You’s didn’t say you’s was taking in no cat!”
Eliot looked blankly at the building’s super intendant. Considering that Ms. Fluffé, the building’s owner and Bruno’s boss, was a cat, the amount of trouble the bad tempered bulldog stirred up seemed ironic.
“My good fellow, I’d thank you to watch your tone!”
“Oh mister fancy cat has a problem! Well, I gives you a problem if you’s don’t clear out! No cats allowed!”
“Bruno, Manx is my new apprentice, like it or not, he’s staying!”
The bulldog stammered for a moment, posturing and posing himself to look as intimidating as possible, and walked stiffly back into the hall.
“No Cats!” he shouted once more and slammed the door on his foot. It was set to swing inward, causing him to have to reach far into the room to grab the handle and pull it. He’d forgotten to step out of his own way!
“Ouch! You’s cats!” And he was gone.
Eliot turned to Manx.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“Bugsy?”
“What?”
“You said you’d modeled your cast on the other residence of this building. I can only assume I’ve had the displeasure of meeting your local Bugsy Vile!”
Eliot chuckled.
“Of course! Who else could be so vexing?”
“Well, he may be a few treats short of a box and none too nice, to boot, but he did just give me a great idea!” Manx said as he walked over to the desk. “Mind if I sketch it out?”
“By all means! Be my guest!”
“I’ll story board it for you, than, if you like it, we can both work on the cell work and paint.”
“Sounds good to me!” Eliot agreed, tail wagging excitedly. This was the first time he’d let anyone else work with his characters, but Manx was the best in his class and he’d won the right to study under him by means of hard work, not simply chance.

It all started a few weeks back. The relationship between crime boss Bugsy Vile and his girl, Kitty, had seen its share of ups and downs. She’d always been loyal to him and he always catered to her every whim, but the differences between their species was a constant burden. That’s the way it would have stayed, if someone hadn’t found a way to do something about it…
“I’m Ace Heart, Private Eye and all around good guy dog. Now, I don’t have a problem with cats, it’s just that every cat I’ve met has been a problem…”

“I hope I won’t be, Mr. Heart!” Manx said, out loud.
“What was that?” Eliot asked from the kitchen.
“Oh, nothing, Mr. Shag. I sometimes find myself talking to the characters, it helps keep my mind from wandering.”
Eliot winked knowingly.
“Well, if they start talking back…”
“…I’ll have gone mad.” Manx whispered and rolled his eyes.

Ace looked up and down the boulevard. He stood under a streetlamp on the corner of Saarloos and Yorkshire. Chief of Detectives, Rosie O’Gravy, had phoned ahead and told him to meet her there, but something was off…

“Nice start, kid!”
Manx almost jumped out of his seat. Was that right? Was Ace talking to him? The character on the cardstock, was it talking?
“I said nice start, Manx,” Eliot repeated. “Keep it up!”
Manx bit the inside of his mouth as punishment for being so foolish and went back to work.

A car suddenly rounded the corner of Pembroke and sped past him! Ace spun comically in the tailwind, holding onto his hat, stopping just in time to see Rosie’s terrified look in the rear window of the quickly departing Dodge. He gave chase, running on all fours like any other dog chasing a car, and just like real life, it was in vain.
He rose to his feet, panting…
“There’s got to be a better way…” Ace said to himself.
“I stopped and thought it over” he narrated. “I tried to recall exactly what I’d seen, tried to focus on anything that could be a clue to who had Rosie and where they were headed, but all I could think of was her horrified expression. And now she was gone…”
Whap! A newspaper suddenly smacked Ace in the face, having been blown along on the wind.
“Scientist claims, ‘I can change dogs into cats and cats into dogs!’” read the top headline.

“So what?” Ace asked, holding the paper up to Manx, who looked as if he’d swallowed his tongue. He didn’t want to go insane, but if it made him a better cartoonist…
“Read on, Ace,” he said with a gulp.

“All I need is a pair of test subjects and I’ll prove it!”
“I read down the page to the end where it directed all interested parties to come to an address down town, any time after dark. My blood ran cold! That was off in the direction they’d been headed!”

Meanwhile, Bugsy’s car had traveled halfway across town. With Frisky at the wheel, propped up on a pile of books, the ride took no time at all. The Chihuahua couldn’t reach the pedals, so a brick had been set down on the accelerator, ensuring the car never let up for a moment. Unfortunately, this also meant they’d most likely came to a stop by means of crashing…
“You’ll never get away with this, Vile! I know all about your plan and this pup knows how to ‘speak’!”
“You’s is mistaken, Miss Chief of Detectives. Once we is through with you’s, no one will believe you is you!”
Kitty turned around from the front seat, holding up the same page that Ace had come across.
“My Bugsy and me are going to finally be together and you’re finally going to get what’s coming to you for being a flea in my side for all these years!”
Rosie read the headline.
“This is madness; senseless!”
“Senseless is what I’s do best!” Bugsy laughed and his gang joined in.

The car slammed through the double doorway at Whisker Scientific. It came to a stop half propped up on a pile of crates. Smoke plumed from beneath the hood and one of the wheels kept on spinning in the air.
“What’s the meaning of this?” a shaky voice asked in the darkness.
“Professor Barkin, we’s have got exactly what you’s been looking for!”
The scrawny dog took a step into the light and squinted. He pulled a pair of thick, coke-bottle, glasses from his lab coat pocket and balanced them on his nose.
“You… You’re The Dog Father!”
“Yes, I am Vile, Bugsy Vile. I am glad you’s have heard of me.”
“You… What do you want with me? There’s nothing worth stealing here!”
“Now, now, this is no way to talk to guests. We’s have brought you exactly what you have asked for in this morning’s paper, and this is how you greet us? That’s gratitude for you!”
The professor took a step back, obviously intimidated Bugsy and his entourage.
“I… I asked for volunteers… You want to be a cat?”
The whole gang burst into hardy laughter, which ended abruptly.
“No, I want for you to change my beloved Kitty into the dog of my dreams…”
“I can’t just switch her from a cat to a dog, I need a donor: a dog willing to become a cat so I can redistribute the DNA between the two.”
Bugsy snapped his fingers and Bruiser pulled Rosie from the back of the car.
“Let me go!” she barked.
Bugsy snapped his fingers again and Frisky slapped a muzzle on her!
“Is this ‘willing’ thing really top proprietor with you’s?”
Barkin looked from Bugsy to the now silenced Rosie and finally settled on Bruiser.
“No…” he said, his voice shifting higher as he spoke.
“Good. So let us be getting started!”

Ace had decided to hoof it back to his office and pick up his wheels. It was a shorter distance away and would save him time in the long run. Eddie, the wet nosed news-pup, had been standing nearby and eagerly joined his hero as he hopped in the car.
“Eddie loved to ride in the car,” Ace narrated. “Then again, what dog doesn’t?”
Eddie had his head out the window, tongue out, eyes closed in the wind.
“The pup really meant a lot to me, almost as much as Rosie… We were a team…”

“…A family.”
Manx looked up from the desk. It was Artie, the young Springer Spaniel.
“Well, yes, I suppose they rather are like a family,” he replied.
“Artie’s my good friend and is always welcome, so he just lets himself in.” Eliot explained. “Sorry if he startled you.”
“Bow-wow! Mr. Shag lets you sit in his seat and he’s even letting you use Ace in your own story! I’d kiss kittens for a chance to write my own story one day!”
“But Artie, what about Mr. Mookie?” Eliot asked. “If you took over writing for Ace, who would write Mr. Mookie’s stories?”
“Oh, yeah! Mr. Shag lets me work on my own cartoons, too!”
Manx smiled.
“Oh, does he?”
“Yeah, I have my own desk and everything.”
Manx had wondered what the pup-sized drawing board was for. He’d half expected to be stationed behind it, himself!
“That’s quite impressive! I didn’t start drawing my own cartoons until I was 9!”
“Bow-Wow! You’d better hurry and catch up! Right, Mr. Shag!”
“Well, I…”
“Being an animator is a lot of hard work! You have to work long into the night to meet the deadline, until your paws cramp up and your eyes bug out…”
“And even then you may not make it,” Manx thought to himself.
“Well, have fun!” Artie said and left out the dog-door.
“He’s a handful, but, what can I say, I love that little guy!”
“So, he’s like family?”
“Mmmm?”
“I’m beginning to see a pattern here, ‘Mr. Heart’.”
Eliot shrugged and pointed Manx back to the page.

“We were a team, a family. I knew I could always count on him.”
“Where are we going Ace?”
Ace passed the newspaper over to Eddie, who read over the front page.
“I don’t get it, Ace, why would you want to be a cat?”
“I don’t want to be a cat, Eddie! We’ve got to stop Bugsy before it’s too late for our Rosie!”
“Bugsy Vile dognapped Rosie and is planning on turning her into a cat?”
“Gees, when you say it, it sounds so far-fetched!”
“You gotta admit, Ace, it sounds kind of fishy. Do you really think it’s possible?”
“I don’t know, but I do know I saw Rosie in Bugsy’s car heading downtown…”
“And he’s the type that just might give this a try!”

Professor Barkin had led the Vile Gang into another area of the research center. A large machine took up the entire room. There were two glass chambers suspended from the ceiling and a complex looking mechanism between them on the floor.
“Miss Kitty, if you would be so kind as to stand about here.” Barkin said, indicating a spot below one of the chambers.
Kitty did as she was asked, striking a dignified pose as the glass was lowered into place and sealed around its bottom.  
“Now,” he said, lowering the other chamber to just above their heads, “put her here!”
Bruiser did as the professor had said, and the tube descended swiftly into place. It had been too quick for Rosie to slip out from under. She stood them pounding on the glass. She unbuckled the muzzle and loudly protested, “Let me out of here! Professor Barkin, you are under arrest for…”
The boney hound threw a switch on the massive contraption and both tubes filled with smoke. Rosie could still be heard, though muffled through the glass, yelling and pounding her fists.
“No! No! Noooooo!” She howled.
The lights flashed and shadows formed on the wall as both Rosie and Kitty convulsed and changed! Rearranging muscle and bone was not a painless procedure! The other dogs looked on in stunned silence. This was really happening! He had really found a way to change the very nature of a person’s physiology!
“Noooooo!” A deeper, more masculine howl echoed through the room.
“Too late! I was too late!” Ace thought. “What could I have done? Even a moment sooner wouldn’t have mattered. I’d been so panicked, so quick to rush to the rescue that I’d let the opportunity slip through my paws. If only I’d called for back-up. If only I’d of…”
Suddenly the air filled with the sound of police sirens! Tires squealed outside as cars surrounded the facility!
“Bugsy Vile, come out with your paws up! Come! Here boy! Come!”
Bugsy turned on the professor.
“What is this, some sort of set up?”
“No, I swear! I didn’t do anything!”
“He didn’t!” cried Eddie. “But I did! Ace told me to wait outside, but I dropped the dime and had the cops meet us here, just in case something went south!”
“I taught him everything I know,” Ace thought, but his pride soon faded as he remembered Rosie’s dire situation.
As the cops flooded in, the smoke inside the glass chambers filtered out, revealing the mad doctor’s first pair of victims. Rosie looked across at the charming white dog that stood where Kitty had been, and then panicked when she caught a look at her own reflection, distorted as it was in the curve of the glass. There was no mistaking it, Rosie was a cat!
The glass chambers hoisted back into the air, freeing their captives. Kitty strode purposefully over to Bugsy.
“And that’s that! See you later, furball!”
Rosie stood as ridged as ever.
“Cat or not, I’m still Chief of Detectives and you’re all still under arrest! Book’em boys!”
The police stepped forward, and slapped cuffs on Bugsy and his gang, but seemed to act as if Kitty weren’t even there. They walked past Ace and Eddie without a second glance only to take Rosie by her hands and cuff her behind her back.
“Hey! What’s the big idea?”
“Alright, settle down, you! What have you done with Chief O’Gravy?”
“I am Chief O’Gravy!” She snapped.
“I wasn’t weaned yesterday, lass! I’ve worked under Rosie for near on six years, I would sure of noticed if’n she were a cat! Now you may dress like her, and even act like her, but you nay be pull’n the wool over my eyes!”
“Scotty, it’s me! I just look different; I’m still me!” She pleaded, “Come on! You know me!”
“Aye, I know well enough ta know when I’m being bamboozled! Sides, ‘beg’s’ a dog trick!”
“Hold it!” Ace shouted, stepping in. “Officer, I assure you, this really is Rosie O’Gravy!”
“What are you on about, you great loon, I suppose next you’ll be tell’n me that bonnie wee lass yonder is Bugsy’s treacherous doll, Kitty!”
“Well, actually…”
“It’s true!” Eddie piped up. “Just check their licenses!”
“Good call, Eddie!” Ace cheered, “That’ll be proof enough for you?”
“Ak, Aye! Let’s see ‘em!”
Kitty looked as if she’d choked on a bone! Of course, all good dogs have license tags! A dog without a license was a dog without social standing, without identity: a stray!
“I… I must have left it at…”
“Book her!” Sargent Scotty barked. “And you…”
“Here’s mine!” Rosie said calmly, holding out her dog and police ID tags.
Scotty ripped them out of her hand and bopped her on the nose with them!
“Bad kitty! Very Bad! Stealing a dog’s license, not to mention an officer’s Badge! Take her away! I nay know what this world is coming to!”
“Bbbut, but… Sargent! That really is Rosie!” Ace insisted!
“Have you got cloth for ears as well as brains, lad? I said I know enough to see when I’m being fooled and I’ll have none of it! Now clear out before I stick you in the cell beside her!”
“Ace!”
“Rosie!” Their voices trailed off into the night…
“Bow-wow, Mr. Manx! How is Ace going to save Rosie?”
It was Artie again.
“Save her? Oh I have no intention of letting him save her!”
“But… What do you mean? Ace Heart always saves the day!”
“Not this time, my little doggie friend! Did you really think I could let that miserable canine win? I have my reputation to think of!”
“Reputation?”
“I am a cat aren’t I? Aren’t we always the bad guys? Perhaps, it’s dear Rosie’s turn to see what that’s like!”
“But… But…”
“Butts are for sitting my dear boy, and I think it’s time you either take your seat and wait it out, or be on your way!”
“Mr… Mr. Shag!”
“Eliot’s gone out; this is my show now! Mwahahaha!”
Artie bolted out of the dog door, tail between his legs.
“That was cold, Manx! Stone Cold!”
Manx turned back to the drawing table.
“Come now, old bean, do you really think I’d be so cruel? I simply can’t abide anyone hovering over me while I work!”
“But you didn’t have to lie to him!”
“Oh, I never lie, Mr. Heart! It’s a terrible habit!”
“But you said…”
“Quite. Now, if you would be so kind…”
Ace turned back around, but eyed Manx over his shoulder before returning to the action.

“It didn’t add up.” Ace began. “What was the point of all this? Kitty had ended up in the pound right alongside Rosie, so Bugsy’s plan had backfired? It wouldn’t be the first time, but I had a feeling something else was going on…
“I drove Eddie home and went back to my office. Visiting hours were over, so I’d have to wait until morning to talk with Rosie again. I didn’t have much in the way of proof. That slimy weasel of a dog, Barkin, had made himself scarce and no one even remembered seeing him at the scene.
“I thought back, when had I seen him last? Then it hit me!”
Whack! A brick sailed through his open window and hit him square on the head. Ace’s body flipped over his desk and he came up with a mouth full of rolodex! He spat it out and found a note tied to the clay block.
“Meet at midnight: 473 Bowser”
“Whoever it was, they had good aim, but shaky writing. I’d guessed it was Bugsy or one of his goons, so when Professor Barkin met me at the prescribed time, I was shocked to say the least.”
“So, Mr. Heart… I’m sure you have some questions for me…”
“Yeah, like why’d you bean me with a brick when I have a listed number?”
“I’m sorry for the theatrics, but I didn’t think you’d show up if you knew it was me. I thought by now Mr. Vile would have found his way back onto the steers and you’d suspect he’d want to talk.”
“You mean about Rosie? Maybe work out a deal to spring her and Kitty from the clink?”
“Naturally. I could tell she meant a lot to you…”
“More than you know, bone breath! What you did to her was unspeakable! It’s a crime against nature! Against all of dogdom!”
“Mr. Heart, what if I told you this entire night had been a well-orchestrated charade?”
“I’m not buying that bowl of kibble! I came here for answers! So spill it!”
“You really must stop hanging around with such lowlifes, I’m afraid their gross incompetence is wearing off on you…”
Ace grabbed Barkin by the dog collar and lifted him off the ground.
“Speak!”
“Put me down! This has all been a trick to get Kitty out of the way! I really am a doctor, a doctor of criminal phycology! It was child’s play manipulating Bugsy. I planted the perfect idea in his head and waited while it boiled and wormed. It didn’t, in fact. He’s far too dull to predict! Kitty, on the other hand, was much more receptive of my suggestion…”
“Suggestion, you mean…”
“Yes, Mr. Heart, I’m a hypnotist. Even you’ve fallen victim to my power. I regret to inform you that I’m not particularly skilled at controlling it. The dogs in this city are fickle and moody. You aren’t the first one I’ve inadvertently locked out!”
“Locked out, what are you driving at?”
“I stood outside your window for nearly three minutes calling your name, but you were still bind and deaf to me, so I had to ‘bean’ you to snap you out of it. Once the police arrived, I thought it best to disappear. It’s simple. A White coat in a lab, nothing to see here. They let me walk right past without a second look!
“Oh, but poor Rosie, yes, that is why you’re here, isn’t it. You see, the gas I pumped into those chambers has only one real effect: it heightens the subject’s receptiveness to suggestion. You all expected to see a cat, and so you did…”
“That doesn’t make sense! The cops went in with no idea what they’d see. How’d you get them to under your sell?”
“It’s not a spell and it’s not magic, Mr. Heart. It’s just a trick of the mind. The floor dropped out of the chamber as soon as the smoke had obscured the view. A touch of makeup is all it takes to suggest a whole new view.”
“Alright, alright. Let’s say I believe you. That still doesn’t explain why you went through all this!”
A chill ran down his spine.
“No, wait… That dog… She couldn’t have been Kitty!”
“Exactly, Mr. Heart. That is my assistant Helga. It was not my intention for her to be picked up by the police. You will note that she didn’t say very much. That is because she couldn’t quite match the real Kitty’s voice.”
“Get me out of here!”
“You see, it’s much too high… I have her here in the trunk of my car.”
He opened the hatch, revealing a very angry Kitty.
“You are so dead!”
Barkin closed the lid again.
“So, what’s the deal? Why are you telling me all this?
“I never meant for Rosie or Helga to end up in jail. I need your help to switch my dear Helga with the real Kitty!”
“And why should I help you? Rosie will be set free as soon as her head clears and she washes her face!”
Barkin pulled a polished watch from his coat pocket.
“We can do this the easy way, or the hard way!”
“OK, OK, as if I have a choice!”

“The professor led me to just outside the station.” Ace narrated. “He had what seemed like a pretty solid plan. I could have gotten Helga out of trouble by simply presenting her real license, but that wouldn’t help Barkin with his plan to keep the real Kitty behind bars. As much as I didn’t like this guy, I couldn’t argue with his logic. Without Kitty pulling the strings, Bugsy wouldn’t know how to tie his own shoes…
“Rosie was another issue. By now she’d must have realized she wasn’t really a cat, but without her license and badge, the rookies they staff the holding cells with probably wouldn’t believe her story. I mean, I scarcely believed it myself!
“It worked out for the best that she was out of our way, at least for now… I went in, acting as cool as a cucumber…”
Ace entered the police station, smiling like a fool and drawing more attention than he ever had before with a seemingly endless flood of small talk and greetings.
“I arranged for a meeting with the unlicensed dog in interview room C. It was the only room with a window. It was also on the third floor…”
Once Helga was in the room and they were alone, Ace explained the plan in a whisper. He knew the guards were watching from behind the two way mirror…
“I laid it out to her and watched as she ran to the window and threw herself against the glass! It fell out, all in one piece, and she and it landed with a thud in the back of Barkin’s Squeaky Toy filled delivery truck. ’Stop that cat!’ I shouted, hoping enough people would here to remember it later.
“Barkin drove around the corner and let Kitty out of the trunk of his parked car. She stumbled into view, obviously confused and wearing a very unconvincing Helga costume.
“Barkin was right about the power of suggestion… The cops giving chase picked her up and accused her of impersonating a dog. They didn’t want to admit they’d been fooled by such a poor disguise, so no questions were ever asked about how she’d been taken in as a stray dog in the first place. The new charges stood and she was put behind bars, where she’d always belonged.
“In the end, Barkin got what he wanted…”

“So, Ace, what do you say? Was it a fun little run about?” Manx asked.
“Manx, are you talking to that paper?”
“Oh, Eliot, I didn’t hear you come in! Find everything you went shopping for?”
“Yeah, and I also found Artie crying on my doorstep!”
“Oh, my… I am rather sorry about that… I’m afraid I get a little touchy at times. I do hope he’ll enjoy the new episode I’m just wrapping up…”
“He’s already told me all about it! How could you? How could you give Rosie the Ax? I know you’re a cat, but that’s no reason to be a bad guy!”
“Exactly! That’s the whole point of this! You see, I made it seem as if Rosie were being put in trouble only so your viewers would see what it was like to be a cat in those days. Everyone loves Rosie and it shouldn’t matter is she’s a dog or a cat, she’s still the same person, but the police were so stuck on breed that  they locked her up, anyway!”
“But you said Ace wouldn’t save her this time!” Artie asked. “What happened to her?”
“Well, you see…”

“Rosie was a different matter. After realizing that she hadn’t been changed at all, presumably after the doctor’s gas wore off, she didn’t have much trouble convincing the guard that she wasn’t a cat. While the lunkhead was escorting her to be rebooked as another stray, a fellow detective, Prince, Greeted her by name.”
“You know this Stray?”
“Stray! This is the Chief of Detectives, ya’ whelp!”
“She was released and soon hard on my case about just what had gone down. I didn’t know what to tell her. Barkin was long gone and Kitty was in the lock up. Bugsy and his goons were still behind bars. Without Kitty to spring them, maybe they’d finally stay there…”

“Wait, you can’t just write Bugsy out of the picture!” Eliot protested.
“Come now, Mr. Shag. Surly you can’t expect this to be a permanent conclusion! Miss O’Gravy is far too by the book to leave Kitty in for any length of time. Besides, she’s got a new adversary in Prof. Barkin, and perhaps a great deal more to investigate back at Whisker Scientific. In all, I feel I’ve done my part to bolster your resource pool and have even gone so far as to complete a script on my own.”
“That doesn’t excuse you from upsetting Artie!”
“I do deeply apologize for that. I sometimes forget just how delicate children can be… I’m sorry. I’m really not a bad guy…”
“I know…” Artie started, “I just didn’t want anything bad to happen to Rosie…”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, my boy!”
“Are you going to say and work with Mr. Shag?”
“That is entirely up to him…”
Eliot looked down at Artie, who had sprung back to his usually up-beat, excited self, and then at Manx and the stack of cardstock on the desk.
“Well, I can at least trust you to be productive…”
“You can trust me to do much more than that! Please, read over my work from today and see if I’ve managed to stay true to your characters, and true to your form. I had intended to make this a full-on sci-fi story, but I remembered that you always kept things practical. That’s why I came up with the hypnotist character and his connection with Kitty!”
“Yeah, what’s he got against her, anyway?” Artie asked.
“Oh, maybe I’ll explain that another time!”
“Well, you’ll have the chance! Manx, welcome to the team!”